Pretty, Dark-Haired Women & Breakfast Beer – Renegade Pancakes Maple Porter

Ron Swanson with his two, simple loves.

I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.

Those eloquent words were delivered in customary deadpan fashion during S2:E8 of the NBC comedy-drama Parks and Recreation by the single greatest television character of all time, Ronald Ulysses Swanson, as played by Nick Offerman.  From the time I first heard that line, I have considered Ron Swanson – despite his status as an entirely fictional personality – to be my Spirit Animal.  I, too, have a strong affinity for good-looking brunettes.  I’ve been married to a Sandra Bullock lookalike for 13 years now.  I also love me some breakfast food.  I mean, I’m really committed to voracious morning feasts.  By way of example, I recently brought a double Belgian waffle maker on the 1000-mile trek to Central Pennsylvania because Eggo, as a sacrificial offering, is downright insulting to the autumnal Allegheny Mountains.

So when I was browsing the seasonal section at the Overland Par

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